Photo Source : SPS Team a2ztutz.blogpsot.com
For the kids to see their biological mom Linda, it has always been Dave my husband who initiates the move. He reasons that no matter what, it would be good for the children to see their mother. I totally agree. It has been two years though that the kids did not see Linda. Phone calls were also scarce. I always wondered why but I never asked loudly. Dave and I also knew that one day, the kids will grow up and make ways to see their mom on their own.
Eto na yun.
Dati, noong ako ay wala pang asawa, lagi kong naririnig kapag may isang parent na wala sa piling niya ang anak, may isang adult na magsasabi, “Huwag kang mag-alala, pag laki ng mga anak mo, kusa ka ding hahanapin ng mga un.” Naniniwala ako dun. Carlo, our eldest is in touch with Linda, his mom via Facebook. I know this because sometimes, he would ask me in passing on things about his mom.
Last weekend, Dave informed me that Carlo asked him permission to see his mom. Of course, he obliged and made the necessary arrangements. Carlo and Linda are going away for the weekend to hit the beach and watch a basketball game. When I saw Carlo, he excitedly told me about it. With all the courage I could muster, I replied, “Talaga? Masaya ‘yan! That’s good!” I meant that naman but there’s also a part of me that says, “Ha? Eh bakit kapag ako ang magdadala sayo sa game, hindi ka ganyan ka excited? Ha?” Admittedly, when Dave told me about it, there was an irrational feeling of hurt, at first. Pagkatapos ng ilang paghinga, okay na ako uli. Naiimagine ko na kung gaano kasaya si Carlo pag nakasama niya si Linda. Masaya na din ako.
This incident also prepares me for the time when Frances, my little princess will seek her mother out. Mukhang I’ll be more bothered by that dahil mas matindi ang among mother-daughter relationship. I haven’t told her that her kuya has a scheduled weekend with their mom. I am sure she will throw a fit because for months, she has been aching to see Linda.
You know the feeling na naooffend ka pero wala ka naman talagang right na ma offend? Ganon ang pakiramdam. To avoid being painted as the traditional, wicked stepmother, I always turn back to this phrase, “I am supposed to be the calm within the storm.” Moreover, these thoughts shared by a stepmother herself helps:
“Despite all the drama, chaos and conflict, the stepmom as the mother ship is steady and strong. All parties can go to her for peace and wisdom. She is a safe place, nonjudgmental, nonpartisan and definitely nonreactionary. She lets everyone be heard and does not react. “
— Be the Mothership, not the Mother, Stepmom Magazine
It takes a lot to do this but it is possible. Besides, madami na akong ibang drama sa buhay para dagdagan pa.
The Madrasta Blog 