It’s my stepdaughter Frances’ birthday again! I was touched when a day before her birthday, she said, “Ma, 10 years na tayo magkasama!” I smiled at her and realized quickly that Yeah, she’s been under my care for 10 years now.
Every year, I want to make her birthday special and memorable in little ways, especially when I’m the only one around for her as her dad is away for work. Years back, I remember giving her a spa party. Last year, I had yellow flowers delivered to her in school. I did this before the boys beat me to it. I wanted that her first bunch of roses will come from her dad and her brothers.
This year, she turns thirteen. She requested me to go to a Divisoria spree with her and so I blocked a day off the week to do just that. Her little brother, Thirdy and I spent some time with her for small, intimate meals too at her favorite cafe and restaurant.
All in all, it was a birthday well spent.
Since I was her stepmom at her tender age of two, I was always the primary person to be there for her birthday. This year, I noticed that something was different. She clutched her cellphone more often and anticipated who would remember her birthday.
This year, her mom Linda didn’t call to greet her. It was as if she forgot but I was thinking, how could she forget? But then of course, it is possible. I saw how Frances was affected. She tried not to show me but I knew her well. She was spending time looking for connections to her mom’s family via Facebook but she could not find one. I was quite sad for her and bothered that I could not complete her happiness during her special day. When her dad called, I related the little situation and he just said, “Hindi natin maibibigay yan. Wala sa kamay natin ‘yan. What’s important is that we love her the way we know how to love her.” And I guess he’s right. I told Frances, “Focus on the people who remembered you today. Your brother woke up a little earlier than usual (which is a major milestone for him) just to make sure he gives you his gift. Your friend wrote on a greeting card and tucked it into our doorstep which I think is really sweet.” I saw her lighten up a little.
It’s now a day after her birthday. Though I know she is too grateful for her celebration, I could see her waiting and hoping still.
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